My last post about, how I love my husband more, got  GREAT feedback. I got messages from women I’ve known for years on Facebook to ones I barely knew. I was asked all kinds of questions about my marriage and how I keep things going. I decided to write about how I love my husband and as you will see it gets different with time. Now we are FAR from the perfect couple but we both at least give it all we got. As our 3rd wedding anniversary is tomorrow I think about how I loved him on that day. Let’s not start there though… Let’s start 3 years before that.

It was winter and I was technically living in Alabama. I came home one weekend and decided to go to a party at a friends house. It started that night. He was one of the funniest people i’d ever been around in my life. We laughed and hung out and talked…. till 3 am. The next weekend I had to see him again. I had to see him every weekend for 2 months and I did. In the mean time we would play 20 questions back and forth through text message. We were in the phase of infatuation. The feeling of you can’t get enough of them, you ignore the flaws, laugh at everything they say and want to spend every waking second with them. For us, it wasn’t just me. We did everything together. I loved him with everything being of my heart.

Two years in, just as we were getting to the phase that if he texted me that was good, if he wanted to see me that was good but I didn’t HAVE TO see him every waken second. Don’t gasp… you know you get into the same routine. You put on a few pounds, let him see you without makeup, just stay in and watch TV, you get “Comfortable”. We have all been there. Well, just as we were getting there HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. That my friends was the night our love changed. We were in wedding mode. Completely happy all the time, planning a wedding, buying a house, moving out of mom and dads. Sound familiar? It was a great year! However, when you look at the details of that year I see something else. We bought a house that needed an A/C unit a month end, he went into the hospital for a week, we lost babies, his car broke down, my car broke down…. Anything that could have happened, happened in that year. During that our love changed again, we were learning how to depend on each other, support one another, go through actual trials of our love… ALL while planning a wedding.

The wedding day finally came and it couldn’t have been more perfect. After the wedding of course came the honey moon. While on a honey moon you have a different kind of love. Of course you are madly in love at that moment but your beaming about each other. It’s that again infatuation. However, when you get home NOW it’s the really married love. The kind where you are trying to figure each other out. See I have made from day one my husband my everything. I make sure he has food, drinks in the fridge, clean clothes, bath products, shoelaces for his work boots, ANYTHING he needs I make sure he has. I’m just that type of person. I spent almost two years being that type of person. However, after our one year anniversary Zach got a job with the railroad. He was out of town it felt like every other night. With a full time job it was hard for me to help him as much being I didn’t see him as often.

When I needed something to occupy my time, we started talking about babies more seriously. I needed something to take care of. It was my personality. That’s when we became pregnant with our daughter. I felt from that moment my love changed. I was now going to have to figure out how to love both of them! When I had my daughter she was admitted into the NICU due to being born 6 weeks early (blog about that coming soon). So my focus when I had her was STRICTLY on her. I would go to the hospital 3 times a day to see her. Now Zach was there for me in ways I can’t describe. He was my absolute rock through it all. So I made sure I told him that every day.

Once she came home that is when the struggle happened. He was not my focus anymore. I was making sure now she had food, a bottle, clean clothes, her diapers and wipes and everything she ever needed. That’s when I felt it! Where was Zach? Oh he was sitting on the couch eating microwaved burritos. What had happened? 2 months in, I knew I couldn’t continue like this. I knew I had to turn my focus somewhat on him or learn to balance it all and I did!

I can not love Zach the way I did 5 years ago. He is no longer my only soul purpose in life. However, I can make sure that his clothes are clean even if he puts them in the washer and I make sure they are dried and put up. I can make sure he has a hot cooked meal even if that means i’m running to wherever he wants at 9 o’clock at night. I can make sure that when he needs to talk to me that LISTEN completely listen. I can make sure that he feels good about himself even if that is telling him he “looks like a hot daddy” in a joking way. I can try to find those little buttons that will make him smile EVERY SINGLE DAY! Sometimes when i’ve done all those things and I still feel the need to make him see how much I love him, I pick up his favorite beef jerky or a movie for us to watch together or even a “treat” for him to eat for lunch the next day. Sounds like I have another child? Nope. I just have a husband that needs to feel my love.

Like I said. It is ok to love your spouse differently. I do and will until the kids leave for college however, I make sure my husband doesn’t feel that I love him differently. I challenge you on a trip down the grocery aisle pick up his favorite treat, go home and tell him you got this for him because you knew he liked them! I challenge you to take one night this month WITH OUT telling him and get a sitter, a few days before let him know and go out to a simple dinner. Don’t have anything to talk about anymore? Talk about your first date. Talk about the first time you met. You’ll be amazed at where the conversation goes. Now it’s been two weeks after you did that. What are you waiting on? Come home early, put the kids to bed and watch his favorite show with him. It’s ok to love them differently. As long as they can feel you love them in some way. Oh and don’t let up on the actual loving. Remember the important keys to marriage don’t ever let go of that.

More of our love is yet to come.

Work. LOVE. Mom.